D'oh

The door to my room has a weird lock that won't let me pull the key out if the lock is disengaged, but the door will close with the lock still engaged. So if I leave it locked when I take the key out and then close it, I'd need the key to get back in (unless I'm on the inside). Since I don't usually carry my keys if I'm wandering around the dorm, I've developed a routine that, theoretically, prevents me from doing anything stupid - locking myself out, for example. Unfortunately, today I failed to follow my routine. Apparently I also failed to notice my failure, because when I got back from microwaving dinner I found my door locked and my pockets devoid of keys. Oops.

Fortunately, the ensuing walk to the housing office gave me plenty of time to contemplate the full weight of my stupidity. I can no longer consider myself superior to my fellow human beings on the ground that I've never carelessly locked my keys on the wrong side of a door. Crap. I'm unspeakably disappointed with myself. The only positive result I can see is that this was a traumatic enough experience that I'm unlikely to repeat it.

But now I'm sad because finding myself locked out was the second most exciting thing that's happened to me since I started work... and the first was my other brilliant discovery of the week: that I left my glasses in NJ when I came back on Sunday.

Long Island: Unlikely to ever leave my list of least favorite places

Five days is my limit. I am returning to civilization for the weekend.

I was planning to stay on the island as a character building exercise until I realized that I couldn't watch the World Cup because the heathens in my dorm monopolize the TV all day with Oprah and Fox News; my character doesn't need improvement that badly, I decided. So, I went out to put gas in my car. $3.30/gallon for regular! And, because this isn't NJ, I had to pump it myself. What is wrong with people in this godforsaken place??

Arg... and I won't start on the bureaucratic stupidities preventing me from getting my paycheck before next week. I will only say that, for all the stupidity, they might as well just give me one big check when I leave. I won't be able to do anything useful with the money before then, anyway. Really... who puts a research facility in the one spot in New York that's more than 15 miles from a Citibank?

/rant

Yeah. So, anyway, I'm going back to New Jersey where I will be able to watch international soccer to my heart's content while pondering my growing attitude problem and not pumping my own gas.

Good advice:

Don't put natural peanut butter in the fridge before you've stirred it.

Also, when the voice in your head tells you that attempting to mix 40 degree peanut butter next to your keyboard is a bad idea, you should listen.